Friday, September 29, 2000

You may wonder why so many of us are turning to the WEB. Try finding something to watch on TV. Every night I run up and down the channels to find something, maybe, funny or entertaining or with some substance. (The only problem with writting a blog is the need for a dictionary as someone may read it). I enjoy a good comedy and find that I am watching the same movies over and over cause there are no programs worth watching. I guess "they" feel there biggest audience is the under 21, and yet, there is a constant reminder that "baby boomers" will make up the most of the population and use up the SSI. I also noticed that if I like a program it will disappear. Guess I'm the only one with good taste-- they never asked.

I guess I'm sort-of like the looky-loos and like to watch the real live dramas. No, I never watched Survivor, Big Brother or Marry a Millionaire. Actually, the programs they (don't you love they) are telling us that are soooo great, I probably have watched once. Do you care, well neither do "they". I watch Animal Planet crying all the way thru whether the vets save the animal or not. How much care is given at the zoos and how there are wonderful people out there trying to save the animals going extinct. I like to watch the Cops catching the bad guys for real. I enjoy TLC and the cooking channels. I have only 2 movie channels, I tried them all, but noticed I was paying for channels I seldom watched as a lot of the movies were old and I'd seen many many times. I even tried the new digital TV, which supposedly gave you everything? Was worst, many channels and again old movies AND was set up for east coast listings. and you paid more.

The one good thing the web users of Bakersfield, Ca got was Broad Band thru our cable company. Yes, it's Time Warner, but, we usually get goodys last. I have one son living in San Jose that has yet to get DSL. Now, my other son who many of you know, (I'll go into that some other time) was here recently and thinks we have not moved ahead at all. Well, maybe not like the "big" cities, but it's great for retirees, which I am. Very easy to get around, although the traffic has picked up. And, where I live it's peaceful and quiet even though there are some busy streets near as well as the freeway. Guess I'm the little old gray haired lady with her cats and I LOVE IT. rarthur@bak.rr.com

Monday, September 25, 2000

This is an article that I have kept for many years because I thought it would work anytime.
HARDIER BREED OF RATS

What this country needs isn't a good five-cent cigar, a chicken in every pot, or even a late night talk show with an opening monologue as funny as Johnny Carson. What it needs is a hardier breed of rats!

The present breed of rats are the puniest, sickliest, the all-around crummiesr rats in the entire world. Stuff a rat with the equivalent of 400 tins of diet pop a day and what does he do...keel over and develop bladder trouble. It's the same story if you ask a rat to puff three packs of non-filter tips a day, heap cyclamates on its' din-din, take it out on the town for 10 or 12 martinis before beddy-bye for 500 to 600 nights running.

In fact, you can't seem to do anything with a rat without it going belly-up, coughing its' lungs out, or wandering around with a liver that's in tatters. As a result, we all suffer. Everytime a rat comes down with the miseries or has its' nose fall off, some scientists come along, attribute the trouble to something the rat has done, and want to take away from us another of life's pleasures.

As far as we know the rat cannot handle saccharin, butter, bloody Marys, excessive TV watching, homemade blueberry pie with ice cream for dessert, fried eggs for breakfast, bacon and heaven knows what else. Why is the rat such a limp-wristed, party-pooping drag? Why can't he enjoy a double order of lasagna, some artificial sweetner, a good smoke, or anything else without whinning about a sore stomach or dropping?

Is the rat really that frail, or is he a hypochondriac? Is he in such a sickly health because of a misspent youth in the garbage dump, or is he faking to make life miserable for human beings? No one can say, but obviously scientists must develop a sturdier breed of rats before there is nothing left in life for us but nuts, berries and mush made from the bark of trees. We need a rat with a stomach like cast iron, one that can toss back junk food and wash it down with a big beer without so much as a burp...a rat with clear eyes, teeth that are impervious to decay, a system that can handle The Pill with no side effects. Is that too much to ask of science?

Instead of feeding banana cream pie to a rat that looks as if it would fall over if you blew on it. Let them come up with a lab animal that can stand up to the stress and strain of modern life. If the rat can't handle the whipped cream, get rid of the rat, not the whipped cream.

If my future is in the paws of rats, I don't want it to be swaybacked, knockkneeded, and narrow chested, especially if something as a T-Bone steak or sex is involved. As far as I am concerned the present breed of rat hasn't shown enough stamina in the nation's laboratories and should be fired from its present position as watchdog of the country's health! rarthur@bak.rr.com